Girl Wife Prisoner Page 16

  Since I had been locked in my bedroom, Loretta had been coming in daily with my calorie-controlled meals on silver trays, taking away the previous untouched tray, and chastising me for not eating.

  I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t cold. I wasn’t anything.

  I stared blankly at the far wall as I lay in my sheets. I hadn’t been able to cry all day. It wasn’t that it had gotten any less painful; there was so much pain that I couldn’t tell the difference anymore between pain and no pain. It wasn’t that the edges were blurred; it was that there were no edges. I was mutely numb.

  I heard a noise at my window. Loretta had opened it earlier today. I barely had the strength to lift my head. I spotted Keir’s familiar figure slipping over my sill and into my room. He crept over to my side.

  “What are you doing here?” I croaked out. “If he finds you−”

  He brushed the hair caught in my eyelashes and cupped my face. “I’m not letting you be alone today. Not today.”

  He knew. He understood.

  He lifted up my covers and slipped in beside me. His warmth was like an open fire, drawing me in. He opened his arms and pulled me against him. I was folded against his chest in a tight cocoon.

  He smelled like fresh soap but with that unmistakable Keir smell of grass and the wind. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I curled my cold fingers into his shirt and pressed my icy feet to his. He didn’t complain even though the stark difference in temperature must have been shocking to his body. Slowly I felt myself start to thaw.

  In my well of darkness I looked up and for the first time since I found out my chichi was dead, I saw the stars, gently lighting up my space. I wouldn’t be okay tomorrow or maybe even the day after that, but one day soon I’d be okay.

  For the first time in days I let myself go from this world, safe in the knowledge that I was tethered to it by Keir’s arms. I fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.

  25

  I woke slowly, from murky depths to the light. I became aware of the warm, hard body wrapped around me.

  Keir, my heart sang. He stayed. Please don’t let this be a dream. Or if this is a dream, don’t ever let me wake up.

  I searched him with my fingers and my mouth. I found his chest first, smooth and firm through his thin shirt. Then I found his neck with my lips, brushing his skin, rough from stubble. His Adam’s apple bobbed across my mouth as he swallowed. I moved my fingers up to his face and I found what I was looking for: his lips.

  His breathing grew as I felt him waken. I slid my body up so my mouth lined up with his. His eyes opened and I stared into the warm liquid depths.

  “Keir,” I whispered against his mouth. “I need you.”

  “I’m here.” His voice was husky and raw from sleep and…wanting.

  “No…I mean, I need you.”

  I closed my mouth over his, willing him to understand me. I poured my fears and hurt and sadness into my kiss, willing him to take them away. I slid one leg over his hip and pressed myself against him. He stiffened against me and the pleasure that shot through my body was like a flash of lightning brightening up my darkened insides. I needed more. I needed him.

  I pressed against him. He moaned deep in his throat, but he pulled away, turning his head to the side and squeezing his eyes shut. “Noriko, please…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  He looked pained when he faced me again. “You’re upset. I can’t take advantage of you like this.”

  “You wouldn’t be taking advantage. I want it.”

  “No,” he shook his head. “Not like this. I don’t want…” his face pained.

  “You don’t want me?” Inside, a part of me started to die.

  “No,” his eyes opened wide so I could see the whites around his irises. “I want you. I want you so badly it hurts but…if I’m just a way to get back at Drake−”

  I slapped his arm, my mouth opened in shock. “Do you actually think I’d do that?”

  “No. But you’ll forgive me if I’m so unsure of myself around you.” He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes closed. He muttered something to himself that I couldn’t hear.

  “What are you saying?

  When he opened his eyes again there was a fierce light that shone from them. He slipped a hand around my neck and held me in his gaze. “I’m in love with you, Noriko. I shouldn’t be, but I am. Utterly and irreversibly.”

  “What?”

  “It’s okay if you don’t feel it, yet, or ever, but I can’t hold it in anymore.”

  “I−”

  “I’m not finished. I know you have a husband−”

  “Only on paper.”

  “He’s still your husband.”

  “I married Drake to save my father and now my father is…” I swallowed. It was still too early to say it. I shook my head, pushing all the pain back in. “Drake holds no possession over my heart. It’s still mine to give away.”

  “But if we…I’d just make you a cheater.”

  “Is it really cheating if all I’m doing is being with the one I’m really supposed to be with?”

  He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “I want to be with you,” he said, suddenly serious. “I want to be yours. But I don’t have anything to offer you. I have no money, no status, no house of my own. So if you said to me that this was just a one-time thing, I…I wouldn’t like it, but I would understand, and I would treasure the memory of this day forever.”

  “Why are you still doubting how I feel about you?”

  “Because…because I never dreamed that I could mean anything to someone as precious as you.”

  “Keir, I’m in love with you.”

  He drew back, blinking. “You what?”

  I laughed as I nodded and tears filled my eyes. “Utterly and irreversibly.”

  A smile burst from his face and his eyes grew shiny. He pushed his face into the pillow so his next words came out muffled.

  “What?”

  He turned his face back to me. “How did the gods see it fit to grant me your love?”

  He still thought he wasn’t worthy. It pained me so much to see that this beautiful man didn’t see himself as worthy. I grabbed his face in both my hands. “Keir,” I whispered, “you see me, really see me. You understand me like no one has ever understood me. Despite everything that has happened, I’ve never been so happy than when I’m with you. I’m yours. Utterly yours.”

  “And I am yours.”

  He leaned in, our hands still trapped between us. We both paused, our mouths an inch away, perhaps to pay our respects to the gravity of what we were about to start.

  This would not just be a kiss. This would be the beginning of something. It would be the turning of a wheel, the roll of the dice; once set in motion, it couldn’t be stopped.

  We had all those chances so far to stop it and stop it we did. This was our last chance, our final chance to call a halt.

  Perhaps this moment was inevitable. Perhaps we were inevitable…

  This time, I said to myself, I won’t be the one to stop.

  Without speaking we both moved at once. Our lips met and it began. The air around us shifted. Like the passing of a rite, nothing outside appeared to have change, but inside us both, it was a new world. A new life.

  His lips were soft as doves. His lips parted slightly around my bottom lip and I felt his tongue brush against it. My head spun like I was falling out of bed and I gripped tighter to him.

  He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I welcomed it. He found no resistance from me, not anymore. I was his. We explored each other’s lips and mouths and tongues almost languidly drawing out every movement, neither of us in any rush. We had waited this long.

  It seemed we both understood that this kiss, each touch, each sense needed to be savored, to truly taste each other. The scent of him filled my nose: of the woods and the wind all mixed with the masculine hint of musk.

  My hand still clutched his between us. I brushed my fingers across his fingers and
his palm, feeling every earned callous and tenderly caressing every scratch. I loved his hands. They were hands that could till the earth and tear away weeds and yet they could coax beauty to life and touch me like I were made of glass.

  He began to run his hands along my body, exploring me. Every inch of skin he touched heated up like he was painting me with rays of sun.

  My hands moved across his body, slowly at first. His skin was taut and smooth and I loved the way my fingers dipped and rose over his every muscle. I felt the hardness and strength in him, my body growing softer in response.

  His hands slipped under my nightie and I arched my back to let him know to keep going. He paused, my hem partway up my belly. “It’ll be morning soon,” he whispered. “Will anyone interrupt us?”

  I shook my head. “Drake will leave for work soon, but he never comes here in the mornings. Loretta won’t come in with breakfast until at least nine o’clock.”

  His eyes darted to the clock on my wall, which I already knew read just past six in the morning. I had almost three blissful hours to share with him.

  He pushed himself up and kneeled, pulling me up with him and we faced each other on the bed. My breath was coming out in short bursts and my heart was hammering on the inside of my ribcage. He pulled off my short nightie over my head as I lifted up my arms, leaving me just in my underwear, a simple black cotton pair. His eyes traveled across my body and he sucked in a breath. My scalp prickled. I moved my hands across my chest and clasped at my arms.

  “Your turn,” I said, but my words came out thickly because my throat felt swollen.

  He nodded. In one smooth movement he had pulled off his shirt and cast it over the side of the mattress. His glorious torso was there before me, smooth caramel skin, a smattering of hair that fell from his bellybutton into his shorts, everything perfectly chiseled and strong and deeply masculine.

  “You’re beautiful, Keir.” He was. He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him.

  “So are you.”

  He swallowed hard and lifted up his fingers to touch me. They were shaking as they found my sides. My hands came up to his shoulders to steady myself as he dragged his palms, a perfect combination of rough and smooth, up my body. My nipples hardened instantly. Goosebumps spread across my skin as his hands brushed across my small breasts. He made a small noise in his throat.

  “Sometimes I wish they were bigger,” I admitted.

  He looked startled. “Why would you change anything? You’re perfect. Everything about you is perfect.”

  My cheeks heated up. “You’re just saying that.”

  “No. Look.” He cupped one breast and rubbed a finger around my nipple. My body ricocheted with heat and I repressed a moan. “Look at how perfectly you respond to my touch.”

  He rubbed his finger around my nipple again, then pinched it. My fingers dug into his shoulders as I rocked forward into his hand, wanting more.

  “I wonder…” he glanced down to the scrap of cotton around my hips. When he looked back up his eyes glinted like black diamonds. “I bet,” his voice took on a gravelly tone, “you’d respond to me so perfectly if I touched you…elsewhere.”

  His gaze held mine as he moved his hand down my stomach, painfully slowly, every inch he moved closer just made the aching between my legs burn hotter and hotter. His fingers paused as they reached the top of my underwear. Surely, he must be able to feel the heat rolling off of me.

  He slid his fingers in under the cloth and down between my legs and started to circle the most sensitive spot of me, sliding easily, round and round, back and forth, spreading my wetness. My body shook with pleasure. I collapsed forward against his chest as my thighs gave out, an uncontrollable moaning escaping my lips.

  “Look at you,” he said in my ear. “You’re perfect.”

  “Keir,” I hissed as he slid a finger inside me. My nails dug into his shoulder as I clung onto him for dear life and his finger glided in and out of me and his thumb flicked lazily against my clit sending spasms of bliss through my entire body. Beautiful hands.

  I don’t know what came over me, but God help me, I rocked my hips against him like a mindless creature. I couldn’t stand every bit of air that was between us. I hated every article of clothing that stood between my body and his.

  “Keir, please,” I begged, “Take it off. Take it all off.”

  He pulled his finger from me and tugged down my underwear. He pushed me down so I was lying on my back. He pulled his shorts and underwear off too, his thick erection springing free. I dropped my legs around either side of him, exposing myself to him, inviting him in. I wasn’t self-conscious anymore. I just wanted him. I wanted him so badly I could hardly see straight.

  This was how it was supposed to feel.

  “Shit,” he said, “I don’t have anything to…”

  Condoms. We needed condoms. I leaned out to grab one from the top drawer. Surely, Drake wouldn’t miss one.

  I hand him the packet, my greedy eyes watching him, begging him to hurry up.

  When it was on, Keir shuffled forward and lowered his hips against me. I moaned when the head of him pressed right up at my entrance. I was so wet he slipped partly inside. He paused, his hands on either side of my head, hovering over me. What the hell now?

  He frowned, his face etching with concern. “Noriko…are you sure?”

  I grabbed his face in both hands. “Keir, if you don’t fuck me right now, I swear to God, I’ll−”

  He slid into me, that gorgeous half-grin on his face and his eyes boring right into me. The pleasure that lashed through me snapped my eyelids shut and knocked me back flat to the mattress. My breath sucked right into my lungs. What was this?

  He pushed all the way in and paused, letting out a low groan. I opened my eyes and he was looking back at me. He lowered himself down onto his elbows so his face was close to mine. We made a little world with our gaze and our breaths heating up the space between his arms. The roaring impatience that had been so furious inside me had stilled. I could stay here, just like this, forever.

  “I love you, Noriko.”

  “I love you too.”

  But when he started to move, dear God, when he started to move inside me, I didn’t want him to stop. Every pull and drag and push and thrust built up this heat, piling fire upon fire in my body and in my soul. My body shuddered as my heart began to fill and kept on filling so that I feared I might soon burst. My fingers dug into his back and pulled him closer and he pressed into me like he couldn’t get deep enough and he pushed and I pulled and he rocked and we rocked and my hands and his hands and our lips and everything and nothing and all the pieces of our bodies became stars, all tightening and compressing and rocking until…

  Everything exploded all at once.

  Like the birth of a galaxy. Suddenly my world became a space as vast and as infinite as the universe. And Keir and I hung there like swirling pieces of stardust.

  Until the pieces of us began to float back down towards the Earth.

  I returned to my body slowly and yet suddenly all at once. Keir was staring down at me, wide-eyed, and his hand was over my mouth. I frowned as my gaze flicked down to it.

  He pulled his hand away. “Sorry, about that,” he grinned, “but you were screaming.”

  Screaming? I started to laugh. “I think…I think I just had my first orgasm.”

  His eyes widened further. “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” Wow. Exactly.

  Keir pulled off the condom and I hid it in some paper under more paper in the trash. He lay on my bed on his back and pulled me against him so my head was against his chest. He traced his fingers along my naked side and I shivered and buried myself deeper against him.

  “I think I must be dreaming,” he said.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “I just never thought that you and I could be here like this.”

  It did feel like a dream. Thoughts of Drake threatened to press into this bubble like harsh fingers of dawn.
Not yet, I told myself. Not yet.

  “Do you want to know the very first thought I had when I saw you?” he said.

  “That I was a spoiled little girl?”

  He laughed. “That was my second thought.”

  I jabbed him in the ribs. He grabbed my hand in his and pulled it onto his heart.

  “I had this thought, it just came up out of nowhere…” he trailed off.

  “What did you think?” I pushed myself up so I could look at him. “What did you think, Keir?”

  “I thought…that’s my wife. I’m going to marry her one day.” He glanced at me. “Did I just scare you?”

  “No.” And I wasn’t lying. It felt like the rightest thing I had ever known. Drake might be my “husband” on paper, but I was Keir’s; my heart, my soul, my love, everything that mattered, was his.

  “I thought you had stepped right out of one of my dreams,” he said. “The way you carried yourself with this perfect mix of girl and woman, you were fresh and new and still unaware of the true power of your beauty. You were like one of the lilies I planted, your kind face open and smiling at the sun, simple and real.”

  I smiled. “That’s a wonderful way to be viewed.”

  “So when you said your name was Noriko,” his face darkened, “I realized you were Drake’s Riko. I realized I was dreaming, and that you could never be my wife because you were already married to someone else.”

  “Oh Keir.” I buried my face in his chest. “I wish I had never married him. I wish−”

  “I’m glad you married him.”

  “What?” I lifted my face to his.

  “Yes, I’m glad. Because I never would have met you if you hadn’t. Just to know you a little, just to have a part of you, even if I don’t get to keep you…it’s worth it.”

  “You have me. I’m not going anywhere. You get to keep me. Always.”

  He swallowed. “Of course I do.”

  He was lying. And I was lying. Because deep down both of us knew…a house made of glass was too easily broken.

  The sound of footsteps beyond my bedroom door made both of us jolt. I let out a gasp. Someone was coming.