Girl Wife Prisoner Read online

  I slipped my hands down between us to touch him. I was too desperate to deal with any more foreplay. I needed him, now. I begged him to fuck me in between desperate kisses.

  He growled, yanking down my underwear and lifting me out of them. He pulled a foil packet from his pocket and dropped his shorts. I kissed his neck and rubbed my breasts back and forth across his body as he unrolled the condom onto his length.

  He picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and I pressed my delicious heat against him as he walked us backwards and dropped us to the bench. He grabbed my hips and pulled me down onto him to the hilt.

  “Fuck,” I let out, pausing for a moment to savor the feeling of him filling me up before I started to move furiously against him, pouring my love into him, releasing every single piece of anger at being kept a prisoner that I had bottled up. The pressure built inside me as I rocked my hips down onto him. His fingers dug into my back and my ass as he gripped me, his voice in my ear, cursing at me like he hated me and, in the same breath, telling me he loved me, utterly, irreversibly, in a voice so sweet and desperate it bought tears to my eyes.

  I couldn’t hold it back. I slapped my own hand over my mouth to muffle my cry as my universe exploded.

  Then he came. Feeling his body tense and him pulse inside me and hearing the low growl leaving his mouth and spilling about around me made pleasure shoot through me again as if we were sharing his orgasm.

  I fell forward against him, exhausted and limp, my body tingling, as his hands ran across my back.

  “Soon you won’t have to hold it back,” he whispered.

  I giggled into his neck. “You want to hear me let go?”

  “I can’t wait to.” He shifted me so he could see my face. “And not just when we make love. I can’t wait until I don’t have to worry if someone might realize what’s going on if I look at you for too long.”

  “I can’t wait to walk down the street holding your hand.”

  “I can’t wait to kiss you whenever I want.”

  “And to make love whenever we want.”

  “And to sleep in with you on our days off.”

  “I can’t wait to share a meal with you.”

  “I can’t wait to share everything with you.”

  “Me too.”

  “I can’t wait to go with you to Japan to meet your family.”

  “Really?” I thought of my passport tucked safely amongst my things.

  “My troupe will train in the US during the winter but the show will travel internationally from next year, including Japan.”

  An image of my family rose to my mind. I could see my mother and my sister’s faces bursting into surprise when I appeared at their door. I couldn’t wait to see them again. And to take Keir home with me to meet them… My heart would be completely surrounded with love. It wouldn’t be quite the same without my chichi, but it would be as happy as I could be. My life would be complete.

  “Oh Keir,” I breathed, “that would be so perfect.”

  He smiled. “I’m glad.”

  “What about your father?”

  His mouth drew to a pinch. “What about him?”

  “Won’t you be sad to leave him?”

  “No.”

  “But he’ll be sad you’re gone.”

  Keir snorted. “He probably won’t even notice.”

  “How can you say that? Your father loves you.”

  “He doesn’t.”

  “You won’t even tell him goodbye?”

  “We’re not exactly speaking right now.”

  My heart stung for him. “At least make up with him before you go, even if you don’t tell him you’re leaving. It might be the last time you ever see him.”

  “I don’t care.” His jaw tightened as he scowled. He did care. He cared very much, but his father, whatever he had done, had hurt him so badly.

  “But…he’s your only father. You’re his only son.”

  “He hasn’t acted like a father in years.”

  “My father and I fought too. But we always made up. You might not get another chance to−”

  “I know you and your father had a close relationship, but I’m sorry; not everyone’s family can be like yours. Mine definitely wasn’t.”

  I stayed silent. I didn’t think that Keir leaving with things so unfinished between him and his father was right. But it wasn’t my father and it wasn’t my place to decide what Keir did. If he didn’t want to speak to his father before we left, then I would support his decision.

  I just knew that if I could have had one more chance to say goodbye to my father before he passed, I would. I just hoped that Keir wouldn’t live to regret this decision.

  33

  It was 9 a.m. Tonight was the night.

  An energy thrummed under my skin like a swarm of fireflies had been released inside my body. The tension was made worse by the fact that I didn’t have a chance to see Keir today.

  But we would meet tonight and then we would never part.

  Tonight.

  One a.m. seemed so far away.

  * * *

  It was three minutes to 9 p.m.

  After Drake had said his goodbyes, I sat in my room staring at the clock. He should be leaving soon to catch his flight. My duffel bag, stuffed with a few clothes and toiletries, was hidden in the back of my closet, ready and waiting for 1 a.m. Somewhere on these grounds my lover was waiting to come and free me. A flurry of excitement rose up in me like leaves caught in an updraft of wind, but the feeling was sobered by an anxiousness. I couldn’t relax until we were on our way to LA. There were so many things that could go wrong.

  The note I had written to Drake was burning a hole in my pocket. I would leave it on my bed before I left. I debated long and hard whether this was a good idea. But I realized that I couldn’t argue for Keir to make up with his father before he left without leaving an explanation for my husband.

  It had taken almost all afternoon to write it. The blank piece of paper had stared mockingly at me as my pen hovered over it. How could I explain my rejection of our marriage? How did I make stark black lines of text carry the weight of “sorry” and “goodbye”?

  The final note was far from perfect. But nothing in this life is.

  Dear Drake,

  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that life is often too short. It is with this understanding that I must leave Blackwell Manor to live the life that I was meant to have. You must know that we don’t belong together.

  I am not sorry for leaving, but I am sorry for any pain I may cause you by doing so. Please don’t come looking for me.

  I hope one day you will understand.

  Take care,

  Noriko

  I heard a knock on my door. It was Loretta.

  “Just take the tea tray away, thanks,” I said, indicating the small tray on the table at my side.

  She walked in silently. Only a tiny part of my mind registered that she still hadn’t said anything. I forced myself to remain nonchalant and for my knee to stop shaking. I didn’t want her to spot my nervousness.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw her stop near the table, but instead of grabbing the tray, she faced me. I looked up. Her eyes were like burning coals and her mouth was pressed into one stern thin line.

  “I can’t believe your nerve.”

  “Loretta, what are you talking about?”

  “After all he’s done for you.”

  I swallowed, trying to keep down the rising panic. Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t give yourself away. She’s talking about something else. “After all who’s done?”

  “He deserves to be happy, you know? He works hard and the poor boy has suffered enough loss.”

  Drake. She was talking about Drake. “Loretta, I don’t know what I’ve−”

  She slapped me across my face and my cheek flared red hot.

  “How dare you,” I cried, leaping to my feet and glaring back at her.

  “How dare you. Fernando overheard
you and Keir talking about your despicable plan to run away together. Fernando is a good employee. He has just informed Master Blackwell. He’s on his way to deal with your lover as we speak.”

  No.

  My heart stopped. My blood froze, icicles forming along my veins.

  “You won’t get away with it,” she said.

  I had to warn Keir.

  I shoved her out of my way. She let out a cry as she tumbled and I heard a thud as she hit the ground. I didn’t even stop to see if she was alright. I didn’t have time.

  I ran through the mansion to the staff quarters the quickest way I knew.

  Keir, Keir, I called to him in my head as if it would make any difference. A sickening feeling bubbled away in my stomach as I skidded around corners and flew down the stairs.

  “Celeste,” I cried as I almost collided with her in the doorway that led into the staff quarters, the smell of steaming greens and roasting meat coming from the kitchen nearby.

  Her eyes widened at the sight of me. “Miss, what are you doing back here?”

  “Where’s Keir?”

  “He’s probably in his room. Why?”

  “Where’s his room?”

  “Miss,” she lowered her voice and glanced around. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  I grabbed her arms and shook her. “Celeste, it’s urgent.”

  “Turn right down the end of this corridor. It’s the second door on your left.”

  I started running even before she finished speaking. My breath was heavy as I rounded the corner, rushing in my ears like a storm pounding on a shore along with the banging war drums of my heart.

  His door was opened slightly, showing a strip of cream wall. I sprinted for it.

  “Keir!” I slammed against the door, jarring my wrists, but not caring. It flew open and hit the wall with a bang. I skidded to a halt just inside the doorway.

  Drake was just standing there. He looked towards me, his face pale and contorted with horror. “Riko…”

  I didn’t hear the rest of what he said. My eyes fixed on the spot on the floor where Drake had been staring.

  I must be dreaming. A nightmare.

  My skin started to feel fuzzy. I felt a scream building up inside me, rumbling and building and as it shook its way up.

  Keir lay motionless on the floor, his eyes closed. Blood seeping from the back of his head made a violent sunset against the pale blue carpet.

  Red made a sunset.

  A sunset.

  Sunset.

  The scream found its escape. It ripped out of my lungs and tore from my mouth, filling my ears. As the breath left my lungs, a darkness filled the space it left behind.

  It was a long time before I stopped screaming.

  Don’t weep, insects –

  Lovers, stars themselves,

  Must part.

  ~ Kobayashi Issa

  34

  Three months later…

  “How are you feeling today, Noriko?” He had a soft, soothing voice, the kind that would be perfect to read bedtime stories to children. Or lullabies.

  Lullaby, and good night,

  With red roses bedight.

  He sat across me in an armchair in my formal living room. I stared at his scuffed leather shoes, the bottoms worn thin in places, his legs out and crossed at the ankles. A loose thread fell down one side from the hem of his right trouser leg.

  I didn’t answer. I hardly ever answer him. What was the point?

  “Is there anything you want to talk to me about today? Noriko? Anything? We don’t even have to talk about you.”

  With lilies o’erspread,

  Is my darling’s sweet head.

  “I don’t know what you want from me,” I said.

  “I want to help you.”

  “You can’t help me.”

  “I don’t think that’s true.”

  In a rare move, I lifted up my eyes to stare straight at him. He flinched as if I slapped him. I saw his breath catch in his chest. I’m not sure why he reacted like that when I looked at him.

  He had a pale baby face that looked younger than his thirty-something years and deep blue eyes that reminded me of the sea. Or at least, what I remembered of the sea. It had been a long time…

  “Why are you here, Dr. Grayson?” I asked.

  “I’m here to treat you. It’s my job.”

  “I think you agreed to do this job for my husband,” my lip curled at this word, “because you had no choice.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “If you want me to talk to you, then you should stop lying.”

  He shifted, his discomfort obvious. “I’m not lying.”

  “You don’t even like Drake.”

  “I do.”

  “No. You don’t. I can see the contempt on your face when I mention him. You don’t think I notice. But I do. You don’t think my husband is a good man. Well done, doctor, you’re right. He isn’t. So you took this job because you need the money.”

  “I don’t need the money.”

  “Your shoes are real leather. They were expensive when you bought them. But now they need replacing. Your pants are tailored, expensive too. But the hem is coming undone. Business was once good. But now money is tight.”

  “You’re…” he cleared his throat. “You’re perceptive.” If I wasn’t mistaken, there was a kind of awe glistening in his eyes.

  “I see a lot of things.” That was all I did. I saw everything. But nobody saw me. Not anymore.

  “Very perceptive,” he said. “But I could already tell that about you, even just from our few sessions together.”

  “The only question left is why Drake came to you to treat me. He hardly trusts anyone, not even me. So you must know him some way, maybe you owe him a favor…”

  Dr. Grayson cleared his throat. “It’s true, Drake and I were college buddies.”

  “I see. That’s why he thinks you won’t rat on him.”

  “Rat on him? For what?”

  “For keeping me a prisoner.”

  “A prisoner?” He let out a soft envious laugh as he glanced around my luxurious formal living area. “You can hardly call yourself a prisoner.”

  “Just because my cage glistens, doesn’t make it any less a cage.”

  “I think we’re being a little dramatic now, don’t you?”

  We. He said we all the time as if he and I were the same person. I wonder if they taught him that at his head-doctor school. Talk about your patient as a “we”. It’ll make them feel less alone. It’ll make them feel like you’re on their side. Like you’re a team. Like you give a fuck.

  I sank back in my chair, lowered my eyes to the carpet, and ignored all of his attempts to engage me.

  Lay you down now, and rest,

  May thy slumber be blessed.

  Finally, Carter let out a long sigh. “Maybe we should call it quits for today.”

  He stood, his foot knocking over his brown leather doctor’s bag. I spotted a flash of metal slipping out of the open top before he quickly bent down to shove it back in. When he picked up his bag I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t make any movement to indicate that I had seen it. He seemed to relax.

  I didn’t move even as he stepped over to me with his hand out. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

  Like always, I didn’t take it.

  This time, instead of just leaving as he usually did, he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Noriko, perhaps you can stop thinking of me as a therapist and start thinking of me as a friend.”

  I looked up to meet his gaze. His mouth parted slightly and he snatched his hand away as if my shoulder had suddenly grown too hot. He spun sharply and left, the door clicking shut behind him.

  I saw a gun. It was a gun I saw tumbling out of his bag. Carter carried a gun with him. Why?

  “He’s in love with you, you know?” came a familiar male voice. “I’ve been watching him.”

  I stood, spinning towards the door to my bedroom. Keir was leaning against
the doorframe, a half-grin on his face. It didn’t matter how many times I saw him, he never failed to take my breath away. A laugh bubbled up out of me.

  I ran to him and leapt into his arms. “Keir. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to see you, silly hime.”

  I glanced past his shoulder into my bedroom to where the curtains were floating out from my open window on the evening breeze. Even as the autumn nights were starting to get chilly, he knew I always left it open for him. Outside the dusky light made it hard to see.

  I pushed him into my bedroom and closed the door behind me before melting into his arms again. He leaned down to capture my lips with his. The emptiness inside me was filled by his warmth and his scent; his clean soapy scent and the smell of grass and the air caught underneath pine trees.

  “What if you get caught?” I said between kisses.

  “You know I won’t get caught.”

  “I know.”

  “I’ve missed you,” he said as he walked me backwards towards the bed, pulling my blouse out of my skirt and up over my head. His eyes traced over my body as his hands moved across my skin, making all the cells of my body spin and dance.

  I took off his shirt and unbuckled his pants, which clinked to the floor around our feet. He pulled me in close and buried his face in my neck, inhaling my skin. He let out a small groan. “It’s been too long. It’s been too fucking long.”

  He kissed me again. This time his mouth was greedy, his hunger feeding mine. Our hands rushed to remove the last few bothersome scraps of clothing and we tumbled into bed, naked limbs twining around each other, breathing each other in, our twin groans sounding like a harmony as he slipped inside me. My legs wrapped around his waist and his fingers twisted in my hair and our bodies danced and we moved as his lips brushed over my skin.

  My bleak and dreary world disappeared outside the tiny bulb of life we grew between us, like a small summer garden in the midst of a wasteland. He was the only light in my darkness. But like a shooting star he would appear in my night sky then be gone too soon.

  I gripped the sheets as he set off a soul-consuming firework inside of me.